Jews have full right to have split personalities. They indeed have two different forces within them that they must use alternately. On the one hand, their purely spiritual existence is not only eternal, but entirely invincible as well. On the other hand, their physical side requires much patient training so as to reach a semblance of the perfection inherent in their higher existence. Understandably, without detailed instruction in the art of balancing these disparate forces, it is not surprising that Jews have higher statistics of emotional distress. Let us then learn from our Forefathers how to blend these two identities into a perfect whole.
On his way back from overcoming Lavan's treacheries, Yaakov Avinu began bracing himself for his encounter with Esav. When he saw a multitude of angels coming to greet him, he decided then and there that this was a golden opportunity to vanquish the forces of evil completely. He immediately sent the angels back to Se'ir and to Sede Edom, the spiritual roots of agggressive hostility and simmering anger, to totally uproot them once and for all. In mid-sentence, however, he realized that his lower, corporeal existence still needed these traits to exist so as to be able to train himself properly in the attribute of humility. Promptly, he changed his tune and asked them to beseech Esav's favor. The angels went, but did not fulfill Yaakov's wish. Angels are completely spiritual beings and do not understand self-educational processes. Education is a particularly human skill and generations of patience and humility are required to change certain character traits.
Patience and understanding are not always called for, though. When Yaakov tarried on the way to Beis El, where he had promised to build an altar, no excuses could justify his delay. All his good intentions and plans could not change the fact that his Neder was waiting impatiently. Nedarim are also spiritual forces. Like laws of nature, they are completely automatic and inconsiderate. Even though Yaakov built an altar near Shechem, it was not in Beis El as he had promised, and his whole family suffered from his delay.
Yes, it is not easy to be Jewish; it is not easy to be chosen. But let us learn the rules and make the best of the high standards Hashem knows we can reach.
Adapted from Rabbi Vali's book on Bereshis. Questions and subscriptions can be mailed to: the Yeshiva